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* They are so pale

* Yeah, looks like an iron deficiency

* Look at the skin, it is almost transparent!

* How else do you think they could get any vitamin D

* What about these pointing-looking fangs

* I mean this creature is obviously a carnivore

* What about this Victorian-style dress

* Oh, this is my Halloween costume. I had to cover this poor thing. It was shaking from the cold.

* How did it end up in our living room?

* I woke up when it tried to bite me in my neck, and I hit it with our silver candlestick

* Honey, you expect me to believe that there are scientifically accurate vampires, who live on the other side of the planetary disk

* …

* Have you cheated on me?

* Yes

Scientifically accurate vampires who live on the other side of the planetary disk.